journal+2-Sneeze

task: write for 20 minutes without stopping.

My dad- The mystery man.

My dad is a mystery. I mean...I live with him, I Know his name, I know where he is from, I know his favorite color, I know what food he does and does not like... But I don't know what makes him scream at night when he is sleeping. I don't know why he gets angry over small things. I don't know why he gets those headaches. I don't know why he hates being around people, even his own family. I know bits and pieces of his childhood, and what he went through is horrific. I scrape my fork on the plate on accident.. "AIDAN STOP IT" I get a D in class I'm trying really hard in... "Aidan, get your grade up" I come in 2nd in a cross country race... "you could do better." He never seems proud of me. He used to.. not after Iraq.

He just isn't like other dads, I love him to death but... he is a mystery. A straight up mystery. After he came back from Iraq he was a different man. I don't know what he saw, or what he did.. I don't really want to know because I would probably be to scared to hear it. Sometimes he tells stories out of nowhere at the dinner table, not the bad ones but he still tells them like he had a good time in Iraq, like he misses it or wants to be back. He tells the stories with a smile on his face. And then he mentions someone's name in the story and stops there and goes into his own zone. Like he is flashing back to what happend. He never told me what exactly happend to his best friend biff, I just know he has passed away. I get home from school and there is multiple messages on the answering machine. It is all for my dad... old friends or family members he doesn't talk to. He claims he does but he doesn't. What person doesn't want to talk to their own brother or sister? or sometimes their own daughter? My dad doesn't. My dad is emotionless. Hiding back the pain he felt. Never lets it out. Sometimes goes to counseling but just laughs at them. Laughs at others peoProxy-Connection: keep-alive Cache-Control: max-age=0 es problems telling them it isn't a big deal. My dad is stuck with stoicism.

The doctors say his brain is wired differently, he reminds me of a machine. They say he cant express his emotions. When he smiles its fake. When he laughs it is fake. When he is angry.... that is real. It's real when he is angry.